Dah-li :D

I'm back in Delhi. And what's surprising this time, is that Delhi is being subjected to constant judgments. And tight scrutiny. And a repeated self inquiry. I loved you, right? Then why are the question marks, sprouting from every corner I turn my head to. It's place in my head and heart seem to be shifting, a little uncomfortably so. But that can be handled. It only requires a change in the lens.A different one for all moods.

Delhi is always up for an encore. If you've missed something, worry not. It's happening, simultaneously,somewhere else. Like how I spotted a man just yesterday, in sheer concentration, designing a public wall. With his pee and using the tool between his legs. The people around him seemed to be blissfully unaware of the artist at work. Or was it an everyday activity. Either way, it was a sight to b(p)ee-hold (quite literally).

On another occasion, when a DTC bus driver, drove his bus at high speed, cos he wanted to race with a mini van. And the passengers in both the buses were holding on to each other, for dear life. Had they spoken one word though, if not through road rage, the "jaat" rage would've surely killed them. Hence the suffering in silence.

If one could earn 1 rupee for one minute stare, all our city issues would be solved. The joblessness is not the issue, mind. Job, they all have. But the strong belief in work and pleasure.Ah, no. Pleasur-ing. (Really ew!)

The Delhi metro is a a small and slightly better version of the buses. Better because it's air-conditioned. But once the metro voice starts crooning "doors will open to your right. Mind the gap", and WHAM. *Mind the hands, you stinky hopefuls. And WOMAN, those are your busts, not boxing pads! *

The dhin-chak cars, STILL take the cake though. They always will. Let's face it. They completely encapsulate the whole "Dehli" feel. You cannot be a Delhi girl and not be chased by black tinted, zipping cars, with a momentary flash of- black shades, peeping suddenly into focus, making a guest appearance, blow kisses in the air, and speed up like their ass is on fire. Plus, the latest, never- heard- before weirdly mixed, Punjabi cum hip hop cum rock cum self composed...er...songs, at full volume.In all the excitement, the viewer does a little something for the view-ee. He leaves a little trade mark. And so, the car reads from behind "ziddimunda", or better still, "punjabirocker". THERE. Work done. Piece of cake. Outdoor advertising at it's best. Now THAT'S creativity. And you thought they were a bunch of no good morons. Tch.

Anyhow, for all the afore mentioned. A neutral stand. But I know I can safely say- TYPICAL :D

Because I need a title for this.

I'll start off with a random thought. In between a conversation with a friend, we both happened to say the same thing -An empty mind is a devil's workshop. And I seriously wondered about my dog's state of mind :P

In another state of laziness, when I was done stretching, munching and napping, I happened to open my phone's inbox. And it's surprising how I never bothered to check the number of messages that were cramped inside it......845. HOW on earth did I happen to accumulate that many. I really needed to exercise the delete option, sometime. And I sat with a mission. Cross-legged. Concentration. I read through them all. And an hour went by. I laughed at some, I sniffed at some. All in all, I emoted at each and every one of them.
My inbox now has 840 messages. Phew!

In another state of pensiveness. I hate cross roads. But they always generate excitement. And anticipation. We always have a strange kind of affinity to things we hate.

In another state of recklessness. I want to take a trip to Leh. Alone.

And another state, in another blog.

P.s- ( I generally have abrupt starting and ending to my blogs. I wonder why. )

Fasting ..Feasting and more..

Eating 5 times a day is no joke. Atleast in my world, Sharma land. My Bombay friends all make fun of my appetite. They start off by ordering half a 'roti' for me, when we eat out. And then the constant jokes follow.

Which is why Delhi loves me. And feeds me well, always. My digestive system still remains loyal to Bombay though. Hence, the constant battle, of binging and ejecting it all out, simultaneously, that too.

Anyhow, if there's something called freezing time, in a particular place. With particular people, etc. That's what Delhi is. Delhi is frozen. People are frozen. And memories, too. It's almost mechanical, but in an endearing way. I need to push buttons and de-frost it all. And there it is, just the way I've always wanted. Relationships between people, among my friends have changed. Entire group dynamics have reversed. But those personal bonds, between me and them, have survived. And if that weren't the case, I'd have broken. Because home is one place that shouldn't be subjected to change. I'd hate it even if my books were moved from one shelf to another. Time walks only till my door step. Beyond which, it is prohibited.

If only I could bottle it all up, and carry it with me, wherever I go. For I've got my running shoes on, since the past one year. And I'm not taking them off for the next 10 years.

It's too late, too soon.

Do we HAVE to stamp a relationship with an engagement ?
Do we HAVE to comply to matrimonial union to get respectability ?
Do we HAVE to live together to BE together?

The Trine-Sublime

This is a toast to the three best women in my playlist right now. The songs always manage to lift up my soul and make me want to sing along. Or not, but have the magical ability to momentarily, make things right. But on most occasions, echo my emotions. Their songs, just always, FIT. And the lyrics, they could've been written by me. Infact, the lyrical resemblance is uncanny. Any which way, here's what they mean to me.

1. Madeleine Peyroux- Your voice is phenomenal. The perfect mix of sensuality and base. A voice I've never heard before, a voice to envy, a voice to admire, a voice inimitable. "Lonesome" is closest to my heart, by far. Purely on the basis of it being for all occasions, and people. Situations and memories. It highly connotes mush, but it's far from that. It's emotionally loaded but it makes me want to smile. It's far from being a separation song, to me, it's a song of past togetherness. "Dance me to your beauty", is probably one of those few songs that make me want to dance. And transport me to the world of true, pure, jazz. A ting of sassiness and tease, an old sixties set up and a wooden dance floor.
Your lyrics are cryptic. Your lyrics are perceptive. And your lyrics remind me, of mine.

2.Katie Melua- You're songs are simple. And bang on. I hate them sometimes, for not being twisted. The pure honesty gives me an itch. It makes me fidgety, but I still can't hit "stop". I sit through it and I curse you, and I love you. I put you on a loop, sometimes. Your songs prick my self consciousness, my cocoon of control, and please my unadulterated side. You voice is as smooth as your songs. I've got to listen to you, atleast once in my 4 odd hours of music time. I'd have to rewind and go back in time, during those early teens , to write like you. But their relevance remains, even now.

3. Michelle Featherstone- You were introduced to me, by my closest friend. And hence, the obvious bias. Your songs substitute my mental situation, my inexplicable mood swings, the wordless world of fluid thoughts. I love the piano. And I love the lovely mesh of the two melodies, a beautiful voice set to the rhythm of the piano. You make me want to hang on to each word you sing, and feel it in all honesty. I don't listen to you too often. I listen to you only when I KNOW I need music, for therapy.

Black book blogs.

SO I was separated from my direct connection with the world at large. When my laptop decided to die, all of a sudden. So there I was, blogging, updating, chatting and mailing, very happy and content in this little virtual world of mine.

The laptop suddenly spluttered. Made a weird "noise". And then, died. Just like that. I was transported into the wonderful world of flashback. Black and white, there I was , on the swing with you, on the sofa, bed, loo *cough *....... chair, table, college, home, floor, street, everywhere. I could see you EVERYWHERE. Like our existence was synonymous to each others. And I lost you before I could say bye bye.

Anyhow, after I snapped out of the world of drama, I realized how seriously, technology had engulfed me. That's when I spotted my old XIC registers. And leafed through each page. And realized how my entire one year was so beautifully hidden in these 5 registers. The one that really got my spirits up was the small black one. It probably has the best of my doodling works, my conversation with friends during class and a few short poems written here and there. Some of the pieces are as follows :

Feeding your fantasy,
as fantastical as,
an immortal cup of venom,
as surreal as life itself,
churns that perennial, colossal world,
that's
Virtual




Dog and the bone,
where the dog is me,
and the bone is you.

Where the tag is me,
and the chase is you.

Where the seek is me,
and the hide is you.

Where the fun is me,
and the game is YOU.

Take me back....to where I belong...

Sophie's World is a book that most have read, I've discovered. People don't let me pull a "genius discovery moment" when I mention it. Which is rather sad, since there's so much I'd like to say about it. With the dipping interest level, however, I find it easier to move on. And talk about the weather. And such like.

Which is why the blog.

I'm still half way through it. But the book couldn't have come at a better moment in my life, when I've been cribbing a lot on my course choice, and when I'm torn between the love for Arts. And going in for Advertising, which is making me pedantic. YES. Not creative. But boring.

Literature and Philosophy seem like Siamese twins. I wish I could've done a double degree in both these disciplines... MOre so, I wish I could be born in the era of those natural philosophers, still trying to figure out the why's and how's of the world. Formulating the "forms" and "substances" of things. Where every theory could be right, or all wrong. Where logic and superstition were still strong opponents, and rationality ,a distant cousin. I'd like to have been Plato's student too. Join the unconventional school of education, under trees, write on barks, et all.

We've reached a very "know-it-all"', "nothing surprises me", "that's been done to death" phase.So they say we're moving in circles. When does THIS round complete?

Almost like. There's nothing new under the sun.

Daddy Decides to Lie.

Rather amusing to see parents jittery. And nervous. About LYING. Yours truly isn't any different. But that's another story, only for interested ears. That apart, daddy dearest was in a fix. And didn't know what to do.When asked to tweak certain facts. When I had a list of excuses/lies, ready in my kitty for him to recite, totally unpracticed before. Mom might just be more shocked than surprised. At any rate, both will trigger stress, since the journey undertaken, with the high involvement of risks, effort, etc. will make her heart melt, and also worried. Grown up too fast, too soon, she'll think. And I'll just roll my eyes.

Buffy tops the list, still. He's always happy to be surprised. And his tail NEEDS reasons to wag. During dull spells, when life has nothing to offer, his tail wags on it's own accord, to entertain itself. A little wag to the boredom. He wags at anything.

Brother, for the first ever time isn't a partner in crime. I wish he could be. But aye..what the heck :)

Blogger has returned back to being my buddy love. "Benny lava", a sudden pang and a feeling of nostalgia.

Waiting desperately for the reply mail/ call. My future LIFE depends on you, buggers.

Besties to me.

Musings.

Secrets add spice to life.
But confessions ALWAYS take the cake.

Holy-days

Home in one day. Fingers crossed,for my life after those 10 days.

"Class"ic scribblings

Simpering, hushed thoughts
And those forehead lines, inhabiting for eternity.
A geological age passed.
The answers remained.
Nothing quenched the constant flood,
of that,
constant need,
for peace.

SEPTEMBER, you truly are my Everest.

Converse..ALL stars.Brown.

Intoxication does good.

To a few. Consciousness,of one's surroundings. Specifically people. Especially, person. A particular one, at times. Induced joviality. And responsiveness.

Normal feels good at times.

Normal, being not very common.

Incapability, some experience, without the symbiotic relationship.

I'm quite the opposite.

Which is why, sometimes I feel. GiFTED! ;)

R.I.P

My diary had a sad demise.
A ruthless murder, by my own hands.
For crimes that I understand not. It was as innocent as could be.
FALSE.
The early signs of 'growing up', the new found love, the stories of normalcy and it's counter, the tears and joy, all together.
It was me.
And I murdered myself.
The other half is torn apart too, inside of me. Juggling and struggling between individuality and morality.
Between the storm and the great silent sea,

 all thrusting between those fingers, waiting to be unleashed.
Of wanting to tread upon those terroteries,
where the lust of words never heard, asking to string together that world of forbidden charm,
and those experiences, calling out, to be discovered.
My belly full of unsatisfied desires and thoughts painted on that canvas of my conscious and unconscious,
both ,
wanting to be understood.
Words turned hostile, backstabbed my emotions, a friend turned enemy, a snitch.
Pulled out those pages,for years who comforted me,
now stank,
of betrayal, and I left,
misunderstood.
Misunderstood for more than I had done.
For more than I had ever imagined.
The mind too, has limits;
deliberate boundaries, drawn , purposefully.
Forcing, the fickle feelings under the covers.
Thrashing through my veins, they found refuge, finally, on the pure white frame.
My diary.
MY friend.
MY lover.
My being.
All wasted away.
All stabbed, those fingers blotched with the words, oozing out of that creation,
that made me, ME..
Belittled, my esteem.
All gone.
Cornered.
Eyes stung with shock,
and heart blackned.
With shame.
With remorse.
And the murder, again.
Wrong, were not the words, nor the penholder.
Wrong was none.
Or were all.
Wrong was I, to flow with the vanity.And the untruths.
But not wrong was I , again.
Loved to be loved.
No approvals. Nor disapprovals. Just silence. Of understanding.
The life of a confidant , short lived.
But it lives on, in that minute corner, between dreams and reality,
between me and I,
between the wrong and rights.
That one creation, a friend first.
An open secret later.
But a foe?
Never.

MOCK TEST PAPER

the last article for DU beat for this term. we thought we'd do something funny this time. i designed a mock question paper. here it is.
DELHI UNIVERSITY EXAM PAPER

General Knowledge

Instructions:
Read the question paper to make sure you’ve understood.
1.If feeling particularly nervous, confused, disoriented or all, walk down to the nearest Nescafe and pour yourself a cup of coffee
2.Stop off on the 1st floor to pay your friend a visit.
3.Return back to the exam hall. Read the question paper to make sure you’ve understood.
4.Call your friend on the 1st floor to ask if he’s started the paper yet.
5.Think about your future plans, the glaring social issues, on who will become the next Roadie and how your hair look from behind.
6. Read the question paper, just for the heck of it, to make sure you’ve understood.

All questions need to be read, pondered over and appreciated.

Q1. What is the next step after receiving the question paper?
a. Eat it
b. Bring a spanner. Take your desk apart during the exam.
c. Building a model airplane.
d. Grab it and run out screaming, " I've got the secret documents!!"

Q.2 Why did the chicken cross the road?
a. Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
b. He had a Dream. A dream of a day when a Chicken could cross any street he wanted to and not have his motives questioned
c. He was a Chicken with a mission ... a Mission From God!
d. . It was a hen!
Q3. Why does the triangle have three sides?
a. Because If it had Two it'd be a Sport.
b Foreign Hand.
c.God! Please help me!
d. Three Sides?! When? I Didn't get that Email! Who did this?
Q4. When did the system of examination begin?
a. I dunno, it happened when I was abducted by aliens
b. I didn't really pay attention. The t.v. was on
.c. This morning at 9, Silly
d. Ever since they outlawed Duelling
Q5. Why can you not eat the cake and have it too?
a. Jesus told me not to.
b Don't the two mean the same thing?
c. I got into prison for killing someone who asked me too many questions
d. Then how will I play Frisbee with my Friend?
Q6 If Train A leaves Station C travelling at a steady rate of 15 m/s, and Train B leaves Station D thirty-two minutes later travelling at a steadily accelerating rate of 12 m/s2, explain how this is in any way relevant to your education?
a. Um... in case all life as we know it breaks down and mankind depends on me to reestablish civilization? Actually, now that I think about it, a Hammer would be more useful ... a Knife would be better actually ... Quick how do make a fire?!
b. Answering questions like this is crucial to me surviving this period of my life. It's best to keep my head down until I am far far away from this place.
c. Screw That, what happens when the trains meet!?
d. I'd like to phone a friend please.

Q7. DUB is the best paper ever
a.Is that even a question? I know this is. Well, not THIS per say, I meant the first thing, oh forget it.
b. Whats a DUB?
c. My birdcage has never been cleaner. Thanks DUB! You're the Best!
d. *applause *

Musings.

Here are a few facts I thought are very strangely true... Take a minute off to ponder over them..
1 .The first time when u meet someone, u form an opinion. Once you get to know that person over a period of time, your opinion for that person becomes the complete opposite of what it was initially!
2. The more you say “I don’t care!”, the more you care!(heheh!)
3. A compliment by your best enemy remains etched in your mind for a longer time, than a compliment you received from your friend!
4. When you become good friends with someone, you start finding that person good looking, even if he/she isn’t conventionally good looking!
5. We all are hypocrites to some extent, no matter how much we deny it..
6. Your true confidante is you, yourself..
7. You can never hate or forget your first crush, even if he/ she was a true imagery of…say…serverus snape!(I still think snape is an interesting character!)
8. no matter how much we detest these silly superstitions, some how, mysteriously we get this fit of superstition on some big day of our life(exam, job interview, big presentation, result day..etc etc!)
9. if we beg, plead for advise from someone, we still weigh other options before following that advise.
10. no one is a true extrovert..we are all hiding some major secrets inside us.
11. we crave for unexpected holidays..and when we get them, we have no idea what to do..!
12. we are different people at home, in front of friends, at workplace, in front of strangers. And no matter how much you shake your head and give me a long list of justifications..believe me, ITS TRUE!
13. your closest friend is a good listner…;-)